What’s Healthy Anyways
Stop trying to fit into her jeans; they're not yours.
The little voice of self-judgment— you know her, we all have one —barely allowed me to roll out of bed before she started with her relentless chatter. As I stumbled into the kitchen to start my morning, I heard the shower and spotted my roommate's water bottle and gym key card on the counter.
She'd ALREADY been to the gym today? I was just waking up. Why hadn't I gone to bed earlier? Did I even have time for a workout today?
If I've experienced one thing at college first hand, it's that the opportunities to compare yourself to others-roommates, friends, random people you pass on the street- are ENDLESS.
Your roommate comes back from an early workout when you've just rolled out of bed.
Your friend chooses a salad for lunch when you opt for the sandwich and wonder if you should've chosen a lighter option too.
You felt cute in your outfit at the pregame, but once you get to the party, you find yourself wondering if your jeans are too tight or how that girl over there pulls off a top like that when you're certain you never could.
Self-judgment and self-criticism are two of the most dangerous players in this game of living your best life.
As someone who has had a tumultuous relationship with food and exercise before college even started, I realized that forcing a workout or not snacking because my friend wasn't HARMED my health and happiness rather than helped it.
But it didn't stop there— this lifestyle of 'shoulds' was sending a message loud and clear to everyone I met: I didn't value myself enough to treat myself well. So why should anyone else?
To put it differently: People pick up on how you feel about yourself.
How can you expect anyone to like you or treat you well if you're spending all your time disliking and mistreating yourself?
When you're spending all your energy comparing and shaming— whether in the context of your health, academics, career, social life, or appearance —you don't have much gas left in the tank to show up and live the way you want to.
We're living "the good old days"; we're in them right now! College is (typically) only four years. You can spend it living in the shadow of every person you meet, or by becoming your own main character, embracing your insecurities (because we all have em'), and making the memories that will last you a lifetime.
It took this mindset shift to change my ways and commit to practicing high self-worth behavior in all areas of my life, starting with my health.
To take control of your health, mindset, and how you feel about yourself, you first commit to letting go of that urge to compare and then find what works for you.
For me right now, that looks like this:
> Listening to my body when it's hungry instead of ignoring it, even when my friends aren't eating until later or are on a different schedule than I am
> Working out in ways that feel good and not working out when it doesn't, regardless of the speed on the treadmill of the person next to me
> Setting boundaries with friends and loved ones because I care about their peace AND my own
> Scheduling in advance the activities that set me up to succeed each day, these are things that help me feel grounded and able to show up as the best version of myself, like going on a long walk to talk it out with a friend, journaling, being in nature
> Practicing to recognize and SHHHH that inner critic when she's chatting too loud, that narrative you hold in your head is YOURS to change whenever it doesn't serve you— you can make your brain work for you, not against you.
Living in a campus bubble surrounded by people your own age in a health-conscious and appearance-obsessed society can seriously take its toll. It is easy to fall into the comparison trap perpetuated by ever-present social media and perfectly curated Instagram feeds.
But you're YOU, and no one else is- that's your power.
Find what makes you feel your best, what makes you happy, what makes you feel alive.
Appreciate when you learn what doesn't and OWN it.
Our insecurities are a part of being human and not something to be ashamed of (because news flash, that person you're comparing your life to is probably doing the exact same thing). When you choose to play the game instead of letting the game play you, it means you've finally realized this.
We're only young once, and your ass looks great in YOUR jeans. So stop trying to put on everyone else's.
By Carissa Ackermann, Wisconsin ‘23