Don’t Date a Senior. Sincerely, a Former Freshman.

Age is just a number! Everyone always says, “age is just a number,” but like, is it though?? As a college freshman dating a college senior, I would have agreed with the cliche. Now, as a single junior, I’d have to beg to differ.

I met this senior, let’s call him Chris, the summer before my freshman year. When I saw his profile on Hinge, I didn’t think twice about his age. My first kiss, my first fling, my first everything, really, had been with older guys. I prefer men who have a few years on me for many reasons (i.e., maturity, relationship experience, etc.) and don’t really understand why more girls my age don’t feel the same way.

I vividly remember the day I told my roommate and friends that I was on my way to see the guy I’d been dating back home. Granted, this was the second day I had known these “friends,” but that didn’t stop them from sharing their opinions- primarily negative.

My new friends warned me of the horror stories of friends back home in similar relationships. To be fair, I had heard several cautionary tales in high school of freshmen girls being taken advantage of by senior-boys-who-only-want-one-thing. Now, to call me a “hopeless romantic” by sharing what I did next is really just a euphemism for an optimistic idiot.

I ignored my well-intentioned roommates and carried on seeing him.

In my defense, Chris was the first guy who had ever shown a genuine interest in me. He was my first real boyfriend, and he eventually became the first boy I fell in love with. While he *certainly* had his flaws, like stalking my location and trying to sue (yes, legally sue) my friends, I did believe he was a good guy and the right guy for me.

If you are ever in the position to date someone older, let me lay out the pros and cons of my experience for you to decide for yourself.

As my optimistically idiotic self, I focused almost exclusively on the positives while dating Chris. That being said, Chris didn’t make it difficult to see the bright side of our relationship. The best thing about our age difference was that Chris could provide me with a sense of comfort and security in my new college state. He showed me all of his favorite spots off-campus, gave me better academic advice than my advisor, and calmed my nerves as I tried to make new friends.

Another perk of dating a senior was that he had worked a lot more than I had and- you guessed it- had a lot more spending money than I did. He paid for almost all of our date nights and picked out thoughtful gifts for Christmas. He also bought “supplies” for my friends and me whenever we would throw dorm parties.

He also knew a lot more about relationships than I did, and he handled most of our arguments in a far more mature manner than myself.

The most superficial perk about dating a senior as a freshman was that I could escape my tiny quarters whenever I wanted and sleep at his place. I loved sleeping in his big bed and using his shower without shoes, and the fear of fungi.

While I would love to lie and say I didn’t encounter a single issue while dating a senior, if my friends read this article, I would never hear the end of it.

The biggest issue I had with dating Chris was that none of my close friends liked him. This drove me crazy. I can’t blame them, but my friends all thought Chris was pretty weird. The stereotypical senior pursuing a freshman is not an average guy. These negative preconceptions were only worsened because our friend group never hung out with Chris’. When a freshman dates a senior, the friend groups of the couple aren’t going to interact in most scenarios. That sucked. The entire eight months we were together, I only met one of his friends. That bothered me a lot because you obviously want to go to parties with him, not separately when you have a boyfriend.

So. Would I recommend dating an older guy? Absolutely! However, would I recommend dating someone your freshman year of college?? It’s gonna be a no from me, dog.

As a freshman in college, you are overwhelmed by a plethora of New: new classes, new housing, new friend groups, new everything. But, I promise you, the last thing you need is a new boyfriend. If you’ve been seeing this guy consistently in high school, I get it; you do you. But to start dating someone the second, you get to school is something I cannot recommend in almost any situation.

Trust me, I fell drastically behind in my schoolwork and tanked my GPA. I damaged relationships with my friends and missed out on several friendship-strengthening opportunities. All for a boy. How embarrassing.

I could never say I regret dating a senior. We had a good run! But if you ever find yourself in my position, wait to date the senior until you’re a sophomore.

Written by Nina Breher, University of Wisconsin ‘23